What do we really know about the marriage of Joseph and Emma? The historical information on this topic is limited. Joseph and Emma courted for about 16 months before they were married. Considering that period of time, there is relatively little information that can help us analyze their relationship. Nevertheless, it seems that there are significantly more assumptions that now exist than there are facts to support such assumptions.
As you ponder Emma’s life, be careful when accepting assumptions as fact “[T]he greatest block to learning new things is our own set of assumptions. Our minds seem to slip over assumptions like a dark corner. We just don’t see them. [We need to ask] so many questions, that we find we have ventured into that dark corner and come face to face with our assumptions. Only then can we consciously decide if [those assumptions] are still valid or not.”1
The marriage of Joseph and Emma endured until Joseph’s death. She was a supporter, not only of Joseph and his mission, but also of his family. There is much to be said of their relationship and Emma’s role in the restoration, but the purpose of this post is to briefly address some of the controversy that has arisen in regard to their marriage, and to set the stage for what happened when Joseph finally obtained the gold plates in September, 1827.
Joseph and Emma’s story is found in Saints, Volume 1
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has published three volumes of a narrative history called “Saints.”2 These books rely on records found in the Joseph Smith Papers, as well as large collections of journals and other works that are contemporary to the life of Joseph Smith. Saints Volume 1 lists all the sources used and contains the following explanation: “This volume is a work of narrative nonfiction based on more than five hundred historical sources. Utmost care has been taken to ensure its accuracy.”3
Chapter 4 of Saints, Volume 1, contains a beautifully written story of how Emma and Joseph met and were married.4 It tells the story in a narrative style that has the feel of a novel rather than a history. But as assured in the Note on Sources for Saints, Volume 1, “Saints is a true account of the history of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, based on what we know and understand at the present time from existing historical records. . . . Every source in Saints was evaluated for credibility, and each sentence was repeatedly checked for consistency with the sources.”5
I would encourage you to read the story of Joseph and Emma in Saints, Volume 1 to learn more of how they met and were married.
Joseph met Emma while he was treasure hunting
In a prior post I discussed Joseph’s work for Josiah Stowell as a treasure hunter.6 As discussed in that post, a man named Josiah Stowell, who lived in South Bainbridge, New York, had a relative in Palmyra, where Joseph Smith lived with his family. Josiah visited his relative in Palmyra, and through a series of events met and then retained Joseph Smith and his father to come to Harmony, Pennsylvania, and join a search for a buried Spanish treasure. Due to their struggling financial circumstances, Joseph Sr. and Joseph Jr. took the job and joined Josiah for about one month before they prevailed upon Josiah Stowell to stop the search.
It was while Joseph was working for Josiah Stowell in Harmony that he met Emma. Joseph states, “During the time that I was thus employed, I was put to board with a Mr. Isaac Hale, of that place; it was there I first saw my wife (his daughter), Emma Hale. On the 18th of January, 1827, we were married, while I was yet employed in the service of Mr. Stoal.”7
Although Joseph prevailed upon Josiah to discontinue the treasure search, it is evident that Joseph remained employed with him for some time. Joseph specifically mentioned the good rate of pay he received for his work searching for the treasure, but I am unaware of any mention of how much he received for his continued work for Josiah. Perhaps he was not so concerned with the pay as he was remaining near Emma. Joseph’s mother, Lucy, wrote:
“While Joseph was in the employ of Mr. Stoal, he boarded a short time with one Isaac Hale, and it was during this interval that Joseph became acquainted with his daughter, Miss Emma Hale, to whom he immediately commenced paying his addresses, and was subsequently married.”8
Emma’s parents objected to the marriage
Emma’s father, Isaac Hale, lived in Harmony, Pennsylvania, and allowed the workers of Josiah Stowell to board with them for the short time of the treasure hunt: “Isaac Hale states that Joseph Smith Jr and the other money diggers arrived at Harmony in November 1825 and boarded at his place during the course of their mining operation. He further attested that after a short time they became discouraged and soon after dispersed. This took place about the 17th of November, 1825.”9
As mentioned, although the treasure hunt ended, Joseph remained in the employment of Josiah Stowell, and continued to call on Emma. Isaac Hale said that after “the conclusion of the digging, young Smith made several visits at my house, and at length asked my consent to his marrying my daughter Emma. This I refused, and gave him my reasons for so doing; some of which were, that he was a stranger, and followed a business that I could not approve; he then left the place.”10
Joseph and Emma eloped
Joseph and Emma married despite her parents’ objections. At the time of their marriage, Joseph was 21, and Emma was 22. (Joseph was born in Vermont on December 23, 1805;11 Emma was born in Harmony on July 10, 1804; 12 making her about 18 months older than Joseph). They were married in Bainbridge, New York, on January 18, 1827.13
Joseph spoke with his parents prior to getting married: “Joseph called my husband and myself aside and said, ‘I have been very lonely ever since Alvin died and I have concluded to get married, and if you have no objections to my uniting myself in marriage with Miss Emma Hale, she would be my choice in preference to any other woman I have ever seen.’ We were pleased with his choice and not only consented to his marrying her, but requested him to bring her home with him and live with us. Accordingly, he set out with his father for Pennsylvania.”14
“In January 1827, Emma visited the Stowells’ home, where she and Joseph could spend time together without her family’s disapproving looks. Joseph proposed to Emma there, and at first, Emma seemed surprised. She knew her parents would oppose the marriage. But Joseph urged her to think about it. They could elope right away.
“Emma considered the proposal. Marrying Joseph would disappoint her parents, but it was her choice, and she loved him.
“A short time later, on January 18, 1827, Joseph and Emma were married in the home of the local justice of the peace. They then went to Manchester and began life together in the new home of Joseph’s parents.”15
The circumstances of their marriage has caused speculation regarding Emma’s consent to the marriage. In 1838, Joseph published various answers to controversial questions, and in regard to his marriage, he wrote, “Did not Jo Smith steal his wife. Answer. Ask her; she was of age, she can answer for herself.”16 I have talked about assumptions, but in that question and answer I hear frustration in Joseph’s voice. It seems to me this was an accusation that likely hounded Joseph through the remaining years of his life. Later in this post I will quote from Emma’s last interview with her son, Joseph Smith III. Certainly, at that point in her life, more than 30 years after Joseph’s death, she would have been free to criticize or speak her mind. But even then, she only spoke positively and in support of Joseph.
Lucy’s thoughts about Emma
Lucy, Joseph Smith’s mother, loved Emma. In her book, as she was recounting some of the difficulties that Emma faced, she said, “And I have never seen a woman in my life, who would endure every species of fatigue and hardship, from month to month, and from year to year, with that unflinching courage, zeal and patience, which she has always done; for I know that which she has had to endure; that she has been tossed upon the ocean of uncertainty; that She has breasted the storm of persecution, and buffeted the rage of men and devils, untill she has been swallowed up in a sea of trouble which have borne down almost any other woman. It may be that many may yet have to encounter the same— I pray God that this may not be the case; but should it be; may they have grace given them according to their day, even as has been the case with her.”17
As we consider facts, and as we think about whether Emma suffered at the hands of Joseph, do we understand how much time they spent apart? From their marriage in 1827 until Joseph’s death in 1844, consider how frequently Joseph was traveling, or in hiding from mobs, or in prison. During that time, if Emma had resented him or had suffered at his hand, could she not have returned to her parents or done something to escape? And yet, she remained with Joseph and continued to speak highly of him even up to her death.
Emma’s thoughts about her marriage to Joseph
Emma died on April 30, 1879.18 Just prior to her death, in February, 1879, her son, Joseph Smith III, along with various representatives of the Reorganized Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (now called the Community of Christ)19 interviewed her to secure “her testimony upon certain points upon which various opinions existed.”20 It is apparent that even then people had concerns about aspects of church history: “Our thought was, that if we had lacked courage to ask her, because we feared the answers she might give, we would put aside that fear; and whatever the worst might be, we would hear it. The result is given below; it having been decided to give the statements to the readers of the Herald [the newspaper of the RLDS Church], in view of the death of Sister Emma having occurred so soon after she made them, thus giving them the character of a last testimony.”21
Recalling her marriage, she said, “I was married at South Bainbridge, New York; at the house of Squire Tarbell, by him, when I was in my 22d or 23d year.”22
Apparently there were questions about who performed the marriage of Joseph and Emma, and there were rumors that the marriage was performed by Sydney Rigdon. In response to this question, Emma said, “It was not Sidney Rigdon, for I did not see him for years after that. It was not a Presbyterian clergyman. I was visiting at Mr. Stowell’s, who lived in Bainbridge, and saw your father there. I had no intention of marrying when I left home; but, during my visit at Mr. Stowell’s, your father visited me there. My folks were bitterly opposed to him; and, being importuned by your father, aided by Mr. Stowell, who urged me to marry him, and preferring to marry him to any other man I knew, I consented. We went to Squire Tarboll’s and were married. Afterwards, when father found that I was married, he sent for us. The account in Mother Smith’s History is substantially correct as to date and place. Your father bought your uncle Jesse’s [Hale] place, off father’s farm, and we lived there till the Book of Mormon was translated; and I think published. I was not in Palmyra long.”23
I have seen many people quote Emma’s statement that she “had no intention of marying when [she] left home,” and use that to argue that her marriage was at worst without her consent, or even at best that somehow Joseph coerced her into it. But her statement needs to be read as a whole: she preferred to marry him to any other man she knew, and she consented. It is also significant that not long after their marriage, they moved back to Harmony very close to Emma’s parents. Despite her parents’ objections, they nevertheless provided a place where Joseph and Emma could live, at least for a time, even while Joseph translated the Book of Mormon.
Emma valued her relationship with Joseph, and stated in her interview that there was no quarreling in their marriage:
“Q. What was the condition of feeling between you and father [Joseph Smith]?
“A. It was good.
“Q. Were you in the habit of quarreling?
“A. No. There was no necessity for any quarreling. He knew that I wished for nothing but what was right; and, as he wished for nothing else, we did not disagree. He usually gave some heed to what I had to say. It was quite a grievous thing to many that I had any influence with him.”24
She was not tricked, and she was not stolen, and to the end of her life she believed in Joseph’s prophetic calling. Emma was asked the question, “What of the truth of Mormonism?”25 She responded, “I know Mormonism to be the truth; and believe the Church to have been established by divine direction. I have complete faith in it. In writing for your father [during the translation of the Book of Mormon] I frequently wrote day after day, often sitting at the table close by him, he sitting with his face buried in his hat, with the stone in it, and dictating hour after hour with nothing between us. . . . He had neither manuscript nor book to read from.”26
How do we evaluate Emma’s relationship with Joseph?
On any topic, we have to be careful about making assumptions. In the case of how Joseph and Emma met and were married, we have relatively little information regarding their 16 month courtship (from about October 1825 until they were married in January, 1827). Understanding that they were married about 16 months after they met puts a different spin on the question of whether “Jo Smith” stole his wife.
Rather than quickly assume conclusions based on limited facts, we need to think critically about what evidence we have really seen. In a society exploding with accusations of “deepfake,” or “fake news,” we need to take the same approach to historical facts that we are counseled to take in regard to what we see online: “Think critically about every image and every video. Ask good questions about the site that is publishing the images or videos, the citations and sources behind them, and any possible agendas that the creators might have.”27
In other words, rather than jump to conclusions about Emma’s experiences based on the little amount of historical information, we need to think critically about the evidence that does exist, we need to ask good questions about what we’re reading to determine whether that opinion is based on reliable sources, we need to see if the person writing that opinion is citing references to historical sources, and we need to honestly, with the best objectivity we can muster, consider “any possible agendas that the [writer] might have.”
References
- Madelyn Blair Ph.D., “Fake News Is Built on Assumptions,” Psychology Today, December 30, 2016, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/resilient-leadership/201612/fake-news-is-built-assumptions. ↩︎
- “Saints: The Story of the Church of Jesus Christ in the Latter Days, Volume 1, The Standard of Truth, 1815–1846,” The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints: Salt Lake City, Utah, 2018, https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/history/saints-v1/title-page?lang=eng. ↩︎
- Note on Sources, “Saints, Volume 1,” 659, https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/history/saints-v1/sources-intro?lang=eng&id=p1#p1. ↩︎
- Chapter 4, “Saints, Volume 1,” https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/history/saints-v1/04-be-watchful?lang=eng. ↩︎
- Note on Sources, “Saints, Volume 1,” 659, https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/history/saints-v1/sources-intro?lang=eng&id=p1#p1. ↩︎
- “Was Joseph Smith a Treasure Hunter?” https://discoverfaithinchrist.com/was-joseph-smith-a-treasure-hunter/. ↩︎
- Joseph Smith-History 1:57. ↩︎
- Lucy Mack Smith, “The History of Joseph Smith by His Mother,” Zion’s Camp Books, Kindle Edition, Chapter 20. ↩︎
- Larry C. Porter, “The Colesville Branch and the Coming Forth of the Book of Mormon,” 1970, BYU Studies Quarterly: Vol. 10 : Iss. 3 , Article 10, https://scholarsarchive.byu.edu/byusq/vol10/iss3/10. ↩︎
- Porter, “The Colesville Branch and the Coming Forth of the Book of Mormon.” ↩︎
- History, 1834–1836, p. 9, The Joseph Smith Papers, accessed September 11, 2023, https://www.josephsmithpapers.org/paper-summary/history-1834-1836/11. ↩︎
- History, 1834–1836, p. 9, The Joseph Smith Papers, accessed September 11, 2023, https://www.josephsmithpapers.org/paper-summary/history-1834-1836/11. ↩︎
- History, 1834–1836, p. 9, The Joseph Smith Papers, accessed September 11, 2023, https://www.josephsmithpapers.org/paper-summary/history-1834-1836/11. ↩︎
- Smith, “The History of Joseph Smith by His Mother,” Chapter 20. ↩︎
- Saints, Volume 1, Chapter 4, https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2018/06/chapter-4-be-watchful?lang=eng&id=p22-p24#p22. ↩︎
- Elders’ Journal, July 1838, p. 43, The Joseph Smith Papers, accessed September 11, 2023, https://www.josephsmithpapers.org/paper-summary/elders-journal-july-1838/11. ↩︎
- Lucy Mack Smith, History, 1845, p. 190, The Joseph Smith Papers, accessed September 11, 2023, https://www.josephsmithpapers.org/paper-summary/lucy-mack-smith-history-1845/198. ↩︎
- “Smith, Emma Hale,” Joseph Smith Papers, https://www.josephsmithpapers.org/person/emma-hale-smith. ↩︎
- Britannica, T. Editors of Encyclopaedia. “Community of Christ.” Encyclopedia Britannica, October 6, 2013. https://www.britannica.com/topic/Community-of-Christ. ↩︎
- Joseph Smith III, “Last Testimony of Sister Emma,” Saints’ Herald, 1 Oct. 1879, 289, https://archive.org/details/TheSaintsHerald_Volume_26_1879/page/n287/mode/2up?view=theater. ↩︎
- “Last Testimony of Sister Emma,” 289. ↩︎
- “Last Testimony of Sister Emma,” 289. ↩︎
- “Last Testimony of Sister Emma,” 289. ↩︎
- “Last Testimony of Sister Emma,” 290. ↩︎
- “Last Testimony of Sister Emma,” 289. ↩︎
- “Last Testimony of Sister Emma,” 289. ↩︎
- Susan A. Nolan, Ph.D., and Michael Kimball, “Tom Cruise, Deepfakes, and the Need for Critical Thinking,” Psychology Today, March 21, 2021, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/misinformation-desk/202103/tom-cruise-deepfakes-and-the-need-critical-thinking. ↩︎