Make Your Choice

Come, Follow Me 2024; January 15-21; 1 Nephi 6-10

One of the greatest gifts that God has given us is our agency. If we want to receive the blessings of the Savior’s atonement, we must exercise our agency to choose to follow him.

It can be comfortable just going through the motions, or just living the culture of the Church, without really contemplating why we do those things. In these first few chapters of 1 Nephi, we see an example of people doing what they’re asked, but doing it reluctantly and with resentment. Because of that, they often complained and were dissatisfied with their circumstances. But those who deliberately made their choice found joy and happiness.

“If ye have choice”

After Lehi and his family left Jerusalem, they traveled in the wilderness until they reached a valley they called “Lemuel.”¹ In that valley, Lehi received a command from the Lord that his sons should return to Jerusalem to obtain the brass plates.² The story of their efforts to obtain those plates is told in chapters 3 and 4 of 1 Nephi. When they finally returned to their family in the Valley of Lemuel, Lehi told them once again to go back to Jerusalem to bring Ishmael’s family to journey with them.³

The story of their return and bringing Ishmael’s family is succinct, but on their way back to the Valley of Lemuel, “Laman and Lemuel, and two of the daughters of Ishmael, and the two sons of Ishmael and their families, did rebel against us.”⁴

Nephi is one of my heroes. I love his writings, I love his teachings, I love his example. Of all the books in the Book of Mormon, 1 and 2 Nephi are probably my two favorites. That being said, I try to relate to the stories so I can understand them. So I hope that when I eventually meet Nephi in the eternities, he won’t be upset with me for calling him an annoying little brother.

Put yourself in Laman and Lemuel’s position. They were the oldest. From the sound of things, Lehi was fairly wealthy. Nephi said that when they left Jerusalem, they left “gold and silver, and all manner of riches.”⁵ So they were privileged as to things of the world. They were likely educated, with great prospects. And then their crazy (or “visionary”) dad makes them leave everything behind. Not only that, but they have a little brother who is constantly nagging them, preaching at them, telling them everything they do is wrong.

And then their annoying little brother says something that must have driven them crazy, and we know it did because after he said it, Laman and Lemuel were so angry they tied him up and thought about leaving him in the wilderness to die:

“Behold ye are mine elder brethren, and how is it that ye are so hard in your hearts, and so blind in your minds, that ye have need that I, your younger brother, should speak unto you, yea, and set an example for you? . . .

“And if it so be that we are faithful to him, we shall obtain the land of promise; and ye shall know at some future period that the word of the Lord shall be fulfilled concerning the destruction of Jerusalem; for all things which the Lord hath spoken concerning the destruction of Jerusalem must be fulfilled. . . .

“Now behold, I say unto you that if ye will return unto Jerusalem ye shall also perish with them. And now, if ye have choice, go up to the land, and remember the words which I speak unto you, that if ye go ye will also perish; for thus the Spirit of the Lord constraineth me that I should speak.”⁶

“If ye have choice.” I’m pretty sure that what Nephi was saying was, “you have a choice.” It seems to me he meant that they didn’t have to come. They were older, they could have remained behind. It’s almost like he said, “stop complaining, you don’t have to be here. You have a choice. Go back if that’s what you want to do.”

Why were Laman and Lemuel so mad?

What was it about this that made them so angry that they contemplated killing Nephi?

When they left Jerusalem, they traveled to “a valley by the side of a river of water.”⁷ Lehi “called the name of the river Laman,” which river “emptied into the Red Sea,” and he called the name of the valley “Lemuel.”⁸ Lynn M. Hilton has investigated the potential journeys of Lehi and his family in the wilderness, and believes their first stop, the Valley of Lemuel, is what is now known as Wadi Tayyib al-Ism.⁹

Without commenting on the validity of that study (because I’m not sure we can ever know exactly where they landed geographically), a reading of 1 Nephi 2:4-5 states that they left their home, departed in the wilderness, came down by the borders near the shore of the Red Sea, and traveled in the wilderness in the borders near the Red Sea. After describing this travel, Nephi then says, “when he had traveled three days in the wilderness, he pitched his tent in a valley by the side of a river of water.”¹⁰

Based on this language, and the geography of area, Lynn Hilton believes the “three days” of walking would have been from the northeast tip of the Red Sea.¹¹ This reading makes sense, because we know they camped by the Red Sea, and we know that the Red Sea is much farther than just a 3-day journey.

If Lynn Hilton is correct, the Valley of Lemuel is approximately 280 miles from Jerusalem.

I don’t know if this is true, but I bring it up because if it is true, then they would need to travel about 280 miles to get back to Jerusalem. One website suggests that on backpacking trips, novice backpackers should limit themselves to 15 miles per day.¹² At 15 miles per day, it would take about 19 days to travel 280 miles. Can you imagine a 20 day trip away from Jerusalem, all the while frustrated and angry about the situation, then a 20 day journey back, at which time their lives were threatened, then a 20 day journey back to their family, then a 20 day journey back to Jerusalem. And on their way back to their family, their know-it-all little brother starts mouthing off. This story is just a few pages, but if we really think about it, these events happened over the period of many months.

Hadn’t they sacrificed? Hadn’t they done what they were told? Hadn’t they followed their “visionary” father? in 1 Nephi 5:20, after talking about coming back from Jerusalem with the plates, Nephi said, “thus far I and my father had kept the commandments wherewith the Lord had commanded us.” What about Laman and Lemuel? Hadn’t they also kept the commandments? Hadn’t they also done everything they were asked to do? Can you imagine how frustrated they might have felt with Nephi criticizing them all the time, not giving them any credit for the things that they had done?

Perhaps they were frustrated with their situation because they did not choose it. Everything they did, they did under protest. Everything. They went along with it, but complained about everything. It seems obvious to me that they never made their own choice.

I believe this shows us that when we just go with the flow, or when we just live the culture, or just do things because they’ve always been done that way, we really aren’t making our own choice, and we can never truly find joy that way.

The great gift of agency

In the book of Revelation, we read that “there was war in heaven: Michael and his angels fought against the dragon; and the dragon fought and his angels, And prevailed not; neither was their place found any more in heaven. And the great dragon was cast out, that old serpent, called the Devil, and Satan, which deceiveth the whole world: he was cast out into the earth, and his angels were cast out with him.”¹³

God himself has explained the cause of that war: “because that Satan rebelled against me, and sought to destroy the agency of man, which I, the Lord God, had given him, and also, that I should give unto him mine own power; by the power of mine Only Begotten, I caused that he should be cast down.”¹⁴

Agency was one of the primary causes of the war in heaven. And a terrible price was paid: a full one-third of our Father’s children were cast out of heaven. Can you imagine his sorrow, how painful that must have been for him? The value of our agency could be measured in that tremendous loss.

Our agency is meant to be used

Lehi taught that there are “both things to act and things to be acted upon.”¹⁵ Elder David A. Bednar has quoted and expanded upon this teaching:

“As sons and daughters of our Heavenly Father, we have been blessed with the gift of agency—the capacity and power of independent action. Endowed with agency, we are agents, and we primarily are to act and not only to be acted upon—especially as we seek to obtain and apply spiritual knowledge.

“Learning by faith and from experience are two of the central features of the Father’s plan of happiness. The Savior preserved moral agency through the Atonement and made it possible for us to act and to learn by faith. Lucifer’s rebellion against the plan sought to destroy the agency of man, and his intent was that we as learners would only be acted upon.”¹⁶

God has said, “men should be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness; For the power is in them, wherein they are agents unto themselves. And inasmuch as men do good they shall in nowise lose their reward.”¹⁷

Unfortunately, we often don’t use our power to choose. We just go along with the flow, doing what people before us have done, doing what friends or family do, rather than making a conscious decision.

Knowing the stories in 1 and 2 Nephi, and how Laman and Lemuel reacted in every situation, consider this article written by a psychiatrist:

“As a psychiatrist, I teach my patients the importance of learning how to deal effectively with draining people. The victim grates on you with a poor-me attitude and is allergic to taking responsibility for their actions. People are always against them, the reason for their unhappiness. They portray themselves as unfortunates who demand to be rescued, and they will make you into their therapist.

“As a friend, you want to help, but you become overwhelmed by their endless tales of woe: A boyfriend stormed out, again; a mother doesn’t understand; a diva-boss was ungrateful. When you suggest how to put an end to the pity party, they answer, ‘Yes, but.’ After which they launch into more unsolvable gripes. These vampires may be so clingy they stick to you like flypaper.”¹⁸

Is it possible that the root cause of a victim mentality stems from a failure to make our own choices? Although as children we grow and learn in structured environments, we must learn to choose: “The paradox of growing up is we often feel we don’t have a choice. We are subject to our parents’ will and are told what to do, what to read, where to live and what to think. But what would the world be like if we taught our kids that they do have choices and that those choices grow with them? Would the victim mentality in our society plummet to nil?”¹⁹

Conversion is a choice

Throughout the scriptures, we are encouraged to choose God and become converted. Joshua declared directly, “choose you this day whom ye will serve; . . . but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”²⁰ Elijah asked his people, “How long halt ye between two opinions? if the Lord be God, follow him: but if Baal, then follow him.”²¹ Just because we are living a certain way, that does not mean we made a choice to live that way. The process of “choosing” to serve the Lord has two components: the outward actions, and the inner commitment.

The process of inwardly commiting to serve the Lord is the process of conversion. The Savior taught, “Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.”²² The Institute manual for the Doctrines of the Gospel classes provides the following outline for what it means to be born again:

• All accountable persons must be born again of water and of the Spirit.
• 1. To receive salvation in the celestial kingdom, all members of the Church must be born again and receive the baptism of fire (see Mosiah 27:24–29; John 3:3–8; Alma 7:14).
• 2. To be born again is to be quickened by the Spirit and receive a change of heart (see Moses 6:65–66; Mosiah 5:2, 5–7).
• 3. Our rebirth begins at baptism and is completed when we receive the companionship of the Holy Ghost and are cleansed from sin (see 3 Nephi 12:1–2; Alma 36:24; Mormon 7:10).
• 4. Being born again is a continual process (see Alma 5:14–31; 1 Peter 2:2).²³

Alma asked his people if they had experienced a “mighty change of heart,”²⁴ and then he said, “if ye have experienced a change of heart, and if ye have felt to sing the song of redeeming love, I would ask, can ye feel so now?”²⁵ The process of conversion is continual. But it must begin with a choice to follow the Savior.

Too often we consider being born again, or conversion, as something that happens “to” us, rather than something that we choose. We see amazing experiences in the scriptures, and it feels like those were such overpowering experiences that of course those people were converted. But the experiences of Laman, Lemuel, and Nephi demonstrate that we can be engaged in an outward course, but without that inner commitment we will not be converted.

Consider the teachings of both Lehi and Elder Bednar, that we should act, and not be acted upon. Consider the war in heaven, and the tremendous loss of our Heavenly Father’s children in order to preserve our agency. Agency is such a tremendous gift that God will never take it away from us, not even for conversion.

Certainly, we cannot experience that mighty change of heart without the influence of the Holy Ghost. But Nephi taught that the Holy Ghost carries truth “unto the hearts of the children of men,”²⁶ and in quoting that passage, Elder Bednar has emphasized the use of the word “unto” rather than “into”: “Please notice how the power of the Spirit carries the message unto but not necessarily into the heart. A teacher can explain, demonstrate, persuade, and testify, and do so with great spiritual power and effectiveness. Ultimately, however, the content of a message and the witness of the Holy Ghost penetrate into the heart only if a receiver allows them to enter.”²⁷

How do we allow the Spirit to penetrate our hearts? How do we choose conversion? How do we choose to experience this mighty change of heart?

Well, that’s the great secret taught in every page of scripture! That is the entirety of the purpose of the gospel of Jesus Christ. It is why we have the organization of the Church. But that doesn’t mean it’s easy. It can be mysterious. We can live as members of the Church for most of our lives and feel distant, or akward, or not relate to spiritual experiences that are shared by others. If you’re wondering where to start, or how to strengthen your inner commitment to the Savior, may I recommend my articles on the Sacrament, which you can see summarized in the concluding post: “The Sacrament: Conclusion.”

I’ve made my choice

I grew up in the Church, but I didn’t truly make my choice until I was 40. I have written briefly about my experience on the “About Me” page of this site. Before then, I lived the outward expressions, I did all the “church” things. And I had some great experiences that have become the foundation for my testimony. Because of those experiences, I’m a big believer in teaching our children to live the outward expressions.²⁸ Without those habits, those experiences, I frankly don’t know what I might have chosen.

Ultimately, following Christ is a choice. We can’t simply wait for an “overpowering” experience of conversion. We can’t simply wander the wilderness (metaphorically speaking), attending church, but grumbling and complaining, and expect that we will experience a mighty change of heart. We have to do something about it. We have to choose.

I’ve made my choice. It took me a long time to realize that I needed to choose, but once I did, I began to feel that inner commitment, that conversion. I know that conversion comes by the power of the Holy Ghost. But I also know that I had to choose to follow Christ before I began to feel that mighty change of heart. In the face of doubt, I chose to believe and follow Christ.

References

1. 1 Nephi 2:14. ↩︎
2. 1 Nephi 3:2-3. ↩︎
3. 1 Nephi 7:1. ↩︎
4. 1 Nephi 7:6. ↩︎
5. 1 Nephi 3:16. ↩︎
6. 1 Nephi 7:8-15. ↩︎
7. 1 Nephi 2:6. ↩︎
8. 1 Nephi 2:4-14. ↩︎
9. Hilton, Lynn M. (2006) “In Search of Lehi’s Trail—30 Years Later,” Journal of Book of Mormon Studies: Vol. 15 : No. 2 , Article 3. Available at: https://scholarsarchive.byu.edu/jbms/vol15/iss2/3, https://scholarsarchive.byu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1400&context=jbms. ↩︎
10. 1 Nephi 2:6. ↩︎
11. Hilton, “In Search of Lehi’s Trail—30 Years Later,” 6. ↩︎
12. Love The Wilderness, “How Many Mils Can You Backpack in a Day?” https://lovethewilderness.com/how-many-miles-can-you-backpack-in-a-day/. ↩︎
13. Revelation 12:7-9. ↩︎
14. Moses 4:3. ↩︎
15. 2 Nephi 2:14. ↩︎
16. Elder David A. Bednar, “Seek Learning by Faith,” Ensign, September 2007, 63, https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2007/09/seek-learning-by-faith?lang=eng&id=p20-p21#p20. ↩︎
17. Doctrine and Covenants 58:27-28. ↩︎
18. Judith Orioff M.D., “Strategies to Deal With Victim Mentality,” Psychology Today Website, October 1, 2012, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/emotional-freedom/201210/strategies-deal-victim-mentality. ↩︎
19. Christine Louise Hohlbaum, “Teaching Children the Power of Choice,” Psychology Today, March 8, 2011, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-power-of-slow/201103/teaching-children-the-power-of-choice. ↩︎
20. Joshua 24:15. ↩︎
21. 1 Kings 18:21. ↩︎
22. John 3:3. ↩︎
23. Doctrines of the Gospel Student Manual, Religion 430 and 431, “Chapter 18:Spiritual Rebirth: True Conversion,” The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Salt Lake City, Utah, 2010, https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/doctrines-of-the-gospel-student-manual/18-conversion?lang=eng&id=p3-p7#p3. ↩︎
24. Alma 5:14. ↩︎
25. Alma 5:26. ↩︎
26. 2 Nephi 33:1. ↩︎
27. David A. Bednar, “Seek Learning by Faith,” in The Voice of My Servants: Apostolic Messages on Teaching, Learning, and Scripture, ed. Scott C. Esplin and Richard Neitzel Holzapfel (Provo, UT: Religious Studies Center, Brigham Young University; Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 2010), 165–80, https://rsc.byu.edu/voice-my-servants/seek-learning-faith. ↩︎
28. See Doctrine and Covenants 68:25-28 (parents should teach their children “to understand the doctrine of repentance, faith in Christ the Son of the living God, and of baptism and the gift of the Holy Ghost by the laying on of the hands, when eight years old.” ↩︎